The training or indoctrination at the Pearl level became far more intense and demanding. None of us at this level questioned anything. By this point, most of us had unknowingly lost all ability to utilize critical thinking. As a leader at this level, you had to be completely in line philosophically with your upline. No dissension was allowed. We began to hear horror stories of Pearls, Emeralds, and even Diamonds who had lost it all and even had jobs now. They had all gotten their ego out of control and thought they knew more than their upline. They were not team players. Some had decided to cross line and counsel each other. We were told that some former Diamonds wanted to serve alcohol at the seminars.

Alcohol use was taboo with this group, as was smoking. Very few leaders smoked, and you would never see one consuming alcohol. There seemed to be a very high moral standard set in most areas. The alcohol prohibition did not bother Kathy or me, because we were not drinkers. We might share one or two bottles of wine in a year. I would not have more than a six-pack of beer in the same time frame. The only time I would have one was on the rare occasion that we met with friends outside of Amway. I would not purchase it but would have a beer socially, if offered. It did not seem like a big deal to either Kathy or me. We rarely spoke of it, but we both resented what were to become more frequent invasions of our upline’s rules into what had been our private life. This was just a business.

We were told of some former Diamonds that were now broke and working jobs. They had broken another "rule" of success. Some of them weren’t real men and listened to their wives "bitching" and complaining. It was a paradox. On stage, men were implored to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Christ loved the church so much that He gave His very life for it. However, in person at high-level leadership ‘men-only’ meetings, we were directed not to listen to our wife’s complaints. We needed to be strong enough to overlook their feelings for now, and they would certainly thank us for it later. If you loved your wife, you would listen to your upline instead of her and provide well for her. She would be thankful later that she was married to a real man, not a wimp. I would not recognize this skillful manipulation of loyalties and values until far too late.

Some former Diamonds, we were told, had committed the ultimate sin of disloyalty to their upline. Zack told us how years ago, he had had a group of Diamonds that got together and decided that they knew more than Dexter. They represented a large portion of Zack’s organization and came to his house for a meeting. They had decided to split off from Dexter and create their own system of seminars, etc. They told Zack his choice was to come with them or lose most of his organization, or so we were told. He remained loyal to Dexter, and they did their own thing. Eventually, they lost nearly their entire organization and now had jobs (the ultimate degradation). Zack told us, with a smile, that they could have their own Dream Weekend now in a phone booth. We all got a good laugh out of their stupidity and could not understand how they could be disloyal to an upline who had helped them so much.

High-level leaders were also told that these former Diamonds weren’t really ever leaders. Their upline had built almost all of their organization and had allowed them to take credit for it. Since they were not the builders, their businesses died when removed from the Yager system and the influence of a seasoned upline team. Disharmony and egos out of control had cost thousands of people their futures, as this organization fell apart. We had to stick together, in line with our upline, as many futures beyond our own were at stake. Zack had a global organization and was a multimillionaire, because he remained loyal to Dexter. He advised me personally that he made over a million dollars a year. One hundred per cent unquestioning loyalty, he taught, was a non-negotiable element of success.

Zack and I spent more and more time together, as our organization became a good-sized percentage of his enormous business. Zack had slowly begun to replace the other men in my life, becoming a father figure to me. In fact, I wrote Molly and Zack a letter telling them that he was the father I had always needed. He guided me and counseled me. More than anything, I wanted to go Diamond to make him proud of me. No one wants to let his father down. Several other men at leadership levels expressed this same bond. Molly related that many men had told her that Zack had become their "father figure." I was so thankful to have him as a mentor and coach. I wanted to emulate him perfectly by being the perfect family man, husband, father, son, and loving servant to many.

Those of us, who were Zack’s protégées, studied his every gesture and mannerism and could do his presentation and teaching sessions almost identically. Perfect duplication meant perfect results. This whole business was predicated upon the theory that ‘if you do what I do, you’ll have what I have.’ I would tell the same jokes with the same verbal inflections and facial and hand gestures. I had listened to his tapes so many times that we would joke that I would open my mouth and Zack would come out. I handled challenges exactly as he would with principles he had taught.

I kept telling myself that it was exciting to be part of something great that was making a difference in the lives of others. To have successful Christian mentors was the icing on the cake. Zack and Molly had helped many become wealthy. We just needed to stop doubting and questioning in our own minds and submit fully to their leadership. After all, one routinely reinforced principle was this: Your upline can never make any money unless they first helped you to succeed. It had to be a win/win scenario. They would never give you bad advice, because it would hurt them and their business as well. One typical analogy that was utilized to reinforce this was that of a financial planner. The philosophy touted went something like this:

One more "perk" of being at the Pearl level was that we were able to attend high-level leadership meetings with the Diamonds. Usually the first night of a large weekend seminar, there was a Pearl and Emerald meeting with all the local Diamonds, and those brought in to speak. As Pearls, we were often assigned the duty of hosting these visiting Diamonds. We were to dress very well and pick them up at the airport in a limousine. By now, Zack and another Diamond in his organization had purchased their own limousines for this purpose. We were to greet visiting Diamonds at the airport, carry their luggage, and get the doors for them. They literally were treated like visiting dignitaries. We felt proud to be part of an organization that showed that much respect for others.

As hosts, our responsibility was to make them feel welcome and to attend to their needs for the weekend. Part of this included getting them to the backstage area ahead of time, so that Zack could greet them and brief them on what he wanted them to speak about.

Another duty was to get them to the Pearl and Emerald meeting, which took place after the normal seminar and often went until 1:00 in the morning or later. Usually, we were all physically shot by then, but were thankful, despite being extremely tired, to be around the leadership. Once again, Zack would often give visiting speakers very specific coaching as to what to emphasize at this leadership level. The talks here were normally very hardcore and nothing that the general populace of the organization would hear. We were told at this level that we would have to work at least six and seven days a week to get the job done. Too many people were counting on us to succeed for us not to do exactly that.

At these late night to early morning leadership meetings, the Diamonds spoke of the incredible lifestyle that they and their families shared, since making the decision at Pearl and Emerald to "give it all they had" and move on to Diamond. They spoke of now retiring their parents and taking them on incredible cruises or trips to Hawaii. Some spoke of buying homes and cars for their parents, and one spoke of funding an orphanage.

There was a whole new performance standard expected here. One hundred percent total commitment was the only acceptable example we could reflect as leaders, particularly if we wanted to stay on the speaking schedule for seminars. As Pearls, we were paid $600 for doing a seminar, and this extra income certainly helped out. The most important aspect of speaking at these events was the fact that you were clearly acknowledged as being part of the "plugged in" leadership. This gave you more credibility when you went to work within your own organization. People were very excited to invite their friends to a house meeting that I was doing, if they had just seen Kathy and me speak at a seminar to hundreds or thousands of people.

On three separate occasions, different Diamonds taught us how to keep our hectic and chaotic nonstop schedules from our organizations. The justification was that we were working this hard by choice, and they would never have to if they did not personally decide to do it. Zack himself said that we should never let our group see our schedule book, because it might scare the average distributor, who did not yet have a big enough dream or understand the big picture. Another Amway Diamond advised us to be like ducks going across a pond. They are calm, collected, and effortless on the surface and are paddling like mad underneath.

Another one of Zack’s Diamonds advised us on how to make lifestyle representations. He instructed us to do things like golf one morning and then talk about it for a month. This gave the impression that you were golfing constantly and would motivate the golfers in the organization that wanted time to play. After all, most of the people in these leadership meetings were "retired" from their jobs. If they chose to work their business day and night, it was their option. No one else had to work that schedule.

The process of edification or building up was taught and reinforced over and over to entry-level distributors. Showing proper respect to upline was required of leaders. Distributors were taught always to be both thankful and respectful of their upline’s time. We should even buy gas for our upline when we were out together to demonstrate our respect for their time. We were expected to buy our upline’s meals as well. The reason given for this was the fact that you would benefit more from this time together than they would. The analogy used was this: "when a broke guy and a wealthy guy get together and talk, who will benefit the most?"

We accepted this as simply showing respect for mentors. Distributors were reminded constantly that their upline could be with his family or anywhere else in his organization but chose to ‘invest’ his or her time in you. We never saw Amway Double Diamonds Zack and Molly buy a single meal of their own in the nearly ten years we were in business with them. When Kathy and I hosted seminars, we had the speakers’ cars taken out and cleaned while they were on stage. We would also send their children a bouquet of balloons to thank them for loaning us their mom and dad for a day. It seemed comforting to be part of an organization that showed such a high level of respect for people.

A strange shift began to occur after we went Pearl. People in our own organization began to treat us very differently. These were not just faces in a crowd or people that we knew casually or from stage. Our closest friends began to treat us in an unusual manner. It was with a reverence that made us uncomfortable. It was not anything like the near-worship given the Diamond-level distributors; yet, it was similar in nature. People that had been like family to us now made certain to tell us how thankful they were for any time we would share with them. They became even more anxious to "counsel" with us.

They always took special care to be on time and insisted on buying us soda, coffee, and our meals when we were out together. They began to share more intimate details of their lives and struggles with us. People outside of our organization did the same. Many knew us from stage and from the seminars we had started doing, and others knew us because our tapes had gone out to thousands on the "tape of the week" program. Distributors, from as far away as Canada, called to tell us they had been inspired by our example. We had a friend who had a distributor from England call to tell him the same thing. This building up seemed more like "deification," and we had became the recipients of the adulation.

It made us very uncomfortable, as this hero system gave distributors an almost cultish respect for leaders and an unquenchable thirst and desire to become one of them. We soon had business people, surgeons, pastors, an anesthesiologist and many others wanting to get advice or counsel from us. There was a sudden perception that we had more wisdom than we actually did. Indeed, we had read and studied an enormous amount of the system materials regarding time management, communication skills, goal setting, and motivation. We had begun to accomplish levels in the business that a very small percentage of distributors achieve, despite tremendous effort.

The bottom line was the fact that we were just a hardworking couple in our late twenties, and we did not yet have a great deal of life experience. We would later have professionals willing to take a day off work to spend a few hours receiving our counsel. Strangers would walk up to us in airports and greet us. Although the recognition initially made us feel a little uncomfortable, we felt good about what we were accomplishing, and it certainly fueled the motivation in our organization. Fame and recognition were never our motivation, so they quickly grew old. We were somewhat private people and began to feel like we were living in a fishbowl.

We counseled more frequently with Zack and Molly and were now invited to what was considered the Mecca for distributors. As I said before, we were invited [attendance was mandatory] to the Pearl/Emerald/Diamond leadership meetings. Here we began to meet and develop relationships with those we had once only admired from a distance. We were now able to learn directly from these millionaires and millionaire makers. These were couples that we had come to respect and emulate. The work that we had done to achieve this level was incredible. Having shared similar challenges to get to this point gave us all an esprit de corps. There was an incredible sense of camaraderie and mutual respect to be one of the few who made it this far.

We received a warm welcome from this group, the inner circle. We were told that over $100 million dollars of Amway’s annual volume was generated through this small group of Zack’s leaders. These were the best of the best. The leaders at this level were very family-and- faith-oriented and spoke often of our business as fulfilling the great commission to reach others for God. Many often quoted Scripture. They were always impeccably dressed and appeared extremely wealthy. The real motivator for us was that they had each helped many, many others succeed as a prerequisite for their own personal success. The greatest servants had become the greatest leaders, and we were among them. Prodding at us in the background was our very real desire to be well-paid servants. We had yet to see much of the promised income.

Therefore, the wealth that the Amway Diamonds openly displayed put us off and motivated us at the same time. The Amway Diamond-level distributors had an enormous amount of jewelry, particularly diamond jewelry. This was a visible outward sign of their economic success and symbolic of their achievement of the Diamond level in the Amway business. Most Emerald-level distributors wore diamonds. Coming into the business, I did not think it was a manly thing to wear diamond rings. It certainly had not been a goal of mine, but in The Business, it was a symbol of manhood. It was a symbol of servant- hood. It symbolized reaching your full potential for your God, your family, and the people in your organization that you loved.

The high-level distributors would often take off their diamonds and other jewelry and pass them around for us to try on. Molly had a six-carat diamond ring, and Zack sported a ten-carat ring. We were told that it was a nearly perfect investment grade stone valued at over $100,000. He also sported a presidential Rolex with a face, bezel, and band nearly completely diamond encrusted. Molly had a large collection of gowns, shoes, and furs. Zack often spoke of getting into The Business, wanting to have a good car, and at one point owning over a million dollars in vehicles alone. They lived in what was described as a 10,000 square foot home, appraised at over a million dollars. It had been purchased from a non-believer. (Speakers would teach us from stage that God made these sorts of things for His kids, not Satan’s.) It was very important to know that there was no mortgage on this home or on any of the other homes that Zack and Molly owned. If we just followed the principles we were taught, we too would one day live debt free and stress free. What a joy that would be for us!

The gaudy or ostentatious displays of wealth motivated me in that again and again it demonstrated that this business worked. It was not necessary for me to have worked as a Federal Government Auditor to document that Amway worked and worked in a big way for those willing to put in the effort and take it seriously. We saw the evidence all around us.

Zack and Molly were not an aberration. We were beginning to meet many, many Diamond couples who all spoke of the same incredible lifestyle. Some even had lifestyle videos made professionally that were available to sell to our distributors to help "build the dream." They were a source of tremendous motivation and encouragement to us all. Building this business was not an easy thing to do and required an enormous amount of physical, mental, and spiritual perseverance. When people from "the outside" told us that there was no money in Amway, we thought they were idiots. Some would even tell us that they never knew anyone that made money in Amway; yet, we knew of well over a hundred millionaires. Some would say that it was a small percentage that ever succeed, and I would ask them how many people, where they worked, retired in their thirties and became wealthy. The answer was always ‘none.’ Here, in this business, we were repeatedly told there was a "100% success rate" for those who plugged into the system and did the work.

One fundamental principle taught in The Business, as a requirement for success, was the ability to ‘dream build.’ This was one habit that our upline exposed us to on a regular basis until it became our own. Family, security and time together were nearly our sole motivations upon entering the Amway business. These remained intact, but others were systematically added as time progressed. One of Dexter Yager’s, oft-repeated quotes was, "When the dream is big enough, the facts don’t count." The dream, as defined by the system and our upline, could not be just freedom or family time. It had to be something physical or tangible. We had to experience what was out there to know why we were working so hard.

We never had an interest in owning a Cadillac; yet that was the car that leaders were expected to drive. We began to take them out and test drive them and soon needed one. This was not just a comfortable car to buy. Again, it was an outward display of loyalty, success, and manhood. After counseling with our upline, we got an inexpensive, older used model, and it motivated our group tremendously. Soon, each of them needed one. Many went Direct and eventually ended up purchasing Cadillacs or Mercedes.

On one occasion, Molly took Kathy and other leaders out to a furrier. Many tried on minks. Kathy had never worn a mink, but the picture they took of her wearing a beautiful white and brown trimmed full-length fur that matched her dark-blonde hair perfectly gave us a new goal. She looked like a princess in it and said it felt incredible. Male distributors were often told that they didn’t have to get a fur for their wife. We were encouraged to remember that their efforts at work bought a fur…just for the boss’s wife or that of a stockholder. That old question haunted me: "Who do you love more?" I began to hate my employer and wanted desperately to succeed in my business to provide these things for Kathy, as opposed to someone else’s wife.

Zack took me for a ride in his newly purchased Ferrari. It was appropriately Ferrari Red and handled well even on country roads. He and I went out in his turbo diesel Mercedes SDL and other assorted Mercedes in his personal fleet of luxury cars. After one counseling session, just Zack and I went out in his Prevost coach. Distributors were told it was worth over half a million dollars.

I had never been in a home that had an interior as nice as this coach. It was a luxury coach and had marble floors, a mirrored ceiling, and indirect lighting. We spent some time in his limousine as well. One of his more flashy acquisitions was a Lamborghini Diablo. Those cars cost well over $100,000 and literally stop traffic with their sleek design. All the while we were together, he would counsel me and give me a combination of business, personal, spiritual, and financial advice.

Much of the advice he would give me would tie back into a scripture relating to faith or servant hood. He would jokingly describe his purchase of luxury vehicles, homes, and resort-like properties as minor purchases. Minor purchases were defined as purchases that you could write a check for; major purchases required a loan from the bank. To some people, buying a refrigerator was a major purchase. To Zack, buying a private island was a minor purchase. There was no money stress in his life. What I wouldn’t give to have Kathy live like that!

I felt incredibly blessed to have someone this successful mentor me. It was as if I owned a new McDonald’s restaurant and had founder Ray Kroc to mentor and coach me. Success was inevitable. No one was willing to work as hard as I would work! I was coached to laugh at people that told me this business did not work. Such critical people usually slaved away for an oppressive boss, who controlled both their time and income. What morons! My entire perspective and fundamental beliefs had begun to change dramatically. Kathy and I were thankful for having been enlightened and rescued from a lifetime of employment slavery. We were going to become wealthy and spend all day and every day together.

If we could just work a little harder, I could retire from my job and begin life as a full-time dad. Thank God! That was the dominant thought that kept me going. Kathy and I were both so tired and were now used to living in a nearly exhausted state from lack of sleep. I remember barely being able to concentrate at work from being nearly brain dead after days with minimal sleep. On one occasion, I was on the telephone in the office at work, waiting on hold, and I remember thinking they’d better speak loudly when they get on the line, because I was going to sleep. I stared at my computer screen and drifted off until a voice on the line startled me back to consciousness.

This was not uncommon for a leader. Amway Superstar Diamond Randy Haugen related the story of being in a management meeting at work, falling asleep, and actually rolling out of his seat onto the floor. It got to the point where I pushed myself so hard I continued to drive until I hallucinated for the first time. I was driving home from an out-of-town house meeting at about 3:00 AM on a weeknight and had almost made it home. The exhaustion was catching up to me, but home was only a quarter mile away.

Suddenly, before me in the middle of the road was the back end of an elephant that I was about to slam into at full speed. I stood on the brakes with both feet and skidded to a screeching, violent stop. In my now fully awake state, I realized that the gray elephant I had slammed into was actually a thick bank of fog that looked solid in my headlights. I went home a little shaken but more determined than ever. It never felt so good to kiss my sleeping children and Kathy goodnight, as I collapsed into bed for a few precious hours of sleep before work. I knew that I just had to quit my job soon.

As leaders, we were getting counseled to build The Business seven days a week. In a private session with Zack and Molly, this directive was strongly reinforced. Kathy did not like the fact that I worked on Sundays. That was almost our only family time, if I was home. Zack counseled Kathy for almost an hour on getting over this "challenge" in one counseling session. We were told repeatedly that all we had to do to make $100,000 a year was to go Emerald. Get the job done. No excuses! IF you were a distributor that was not happy with your income, you were advised to look in the mirror to find the person controlling it. This wasn’t like a job where you could blame your situation on your boss, office politics, or the economy. This was the "purest form of free enterprise."

We continued to ‘dream build,’ as we were encouraged to do, by going through luxury homes and driving expensive cars. However, the one thing Kathy and I desperately longed for was time together as a family. It was all I could think about all day long. I had to do more to retire. A real man got his freedom.